Polaroid Photos
by ka09th
Summary: I suck at summaries but this is an EunHae fic, gender switch. Donghae is the girl here. It's her life struggle to pursue Hyukjae. Being a normal average girl that she is with a semi dark past, it is quite impossible for her to achieve her goal.


**Title**: Polaroid Photos

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything except for the plot and the story itself.

**Characters**: Lee Hyukjae and Lee Donghae (gender switch) other k-pop artist might appear later on.

**Description**:

Pictures contains a thousands words, they hold a story that only the people involved knows, it may even tell a completely different story depending on the person looking at it, or so they say. Pictures, holds different emotions, different memories, be it childish or not, at one point or another, those people involve cherished it, loved it, hated it. They serve as a reminder, a memory of a time, where in souls are captured on a single sheet of paper printed to perfection.

**Foreword**:

(Everything will be on Donghae's POV)

_"I was captivated by that photo of you, at that moment I thought time stood still and all that's left is that photo of you, and me staring at it. It was the best feeling ever and never in my entire life did I ever feel that way. I was 17 then, I was young and naïve, I was battling with life and how to go on, I shoulder a lot of weight because the world is cruel and I had to go through a lot, then I saw that photo of you, I felt at peace. I don't know you then, but at that moment my life changed. To say that I fell in love with you would be pressuring, but I guess I did. I fell in love with the feeling invested on that small piece of paper; I fell in love with the way your eyes were shining in that photo. Who are you? I want to meet you. I want to know if it's possible to love you in person too. Let me find you."_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

It has been exactly one year when I run away from home, when I lived at the streets for almost three months with no one to look after me. I was so afraid, scared, frightened. I was lonely and alone, but it's better living on the streets than to stay with my uncle and aunt. They are abusing me in any possible way they can, my parents died when I was ten, and for seven years I lived with my uncle and my aunt, it was hell, pure hell, but I was ok. It was bearable, I still can take it. Until my uncle decided that I am old enough for his liking, he tried to rape me, he disgust me, good thing my aunt saw us before he could even lay a finger on me, but that didn't do any good though.

She blamed me, she said that it is my fault that my uncle tried to rape me, and she said that I was seducing my uncle. I think she's stupid; my uncle isn't even the type that a young girl like me would like. They are both stupid, and I don't want to be like them. They broke me; they made me feel like a decaying piece of shit. That's why that night, I sneaked out of the house and run away, I run as fast as possible. I run till I can't feel my feet anymore, till I can't catch my breath anymore, I run till I could feel life coming back to me.

I couldn't take it anymore. I can't live with them anymore, any where is better just as long as I'm not with them. That's what I thought, but living in the streets with no food and shelter is just as bad as it is with them. I'm dirty, filthy. Worthless. Each and every one who passes by looks at me like I am the most horrible person alive, I couldn't blame them though. I'm dirty. Yes, it has been a year; I'm not in the streets anymore. After living in the streets for three months, some Good Samaritan found me lying lifelessly on the sidewalk.

She took care of me, invited me to her home, feed me, dressed me, and treated me as her own child. Two months, I stayed with her for two months. I love her, she's nice, but I can't brush an uneasy feeling building inside me, I was young, adventurous and a risk taker. On the night she found me laying on the ground, I was holding a photo; it was a ripped page of a magazine, crumpled, I found it on the ground, something in my head told me to pick it up and looked at it. So I did, I stared at the crumpled piece of page, I was mesmerized, enthralled, captivated.

There, in the crumpled piece of paper is a photo of a man, probably on his early twenty's, Young and inviting. He's perfect, I can't help but be intimidated, there is this perfect man living on the same planet as me, and here I am, worthless, filthy, and dirty. The look on that man's eyes is all I could remember before everything went blank, I guess I passed out and that's when my savior came. She gave me everything I need, she showered me with love I never felt for a whole seven years, but I felt lacking in a way. I love her, she was like a mother to me, but I am longing for something more, something indescribable, and something that would take me to a whole new level of life.

I can't take the memory of the photo of that man off my mind, and it's scary but exciting at the same time. He's a mystery I'm not sure I'm willing to solve, but I know I have to in order to make peace with my self. So when I saw him on TV I nearly choke on air, it's rather cliché to choke on air, but at that moment I can't breathe, this stranger that I do not know of, my nameless anarchy appeared once again before my eyes. His not nameless anymore, now I know his name. Lee Hyukjae, a model, son of a business tycoon, a business man himself, with good education, an eligible bachelor.

My heart made a lot of flips and it hurt, it hurts so much that I feel like my chest is going to rip open, it hurts so much that I can feel every pound of it against my rib cage, it hurts so much that choking on air isn't enough, I could feel my blood clogging my veins and arteries, stupid piece of muscle that pumps blood, stupid developing hormones, stupid me for being captivated by someone I don't know. At that very moment I wasn't sure of where I would go, I wasn't sure of where I should start, but I was so sure of the ending that I want, I want to end any where and every where, just as long as I'm with him, face to face, skin to skin, and not just me and a photo of him.

Scary indeed, but my heart yearns for it, I yearn for it. I left my Good Samaritan after the two months that she took care of me, I promised her I can live on my own because I already have a job, and is currently studying at an average university. This is better than living on the streets. I rented a small apartment near my university, it is pitifully small but I don't mind, I live alone anyway. Seven months had passed and I am still here, working my ass off in the evening till late night at a café around town, staying up late at night to do my school work, going to school in the morning till afternoon.

It is hell tiring but I don't mind, any where is better, any where as long as it will lead me to him. Besides, it will only take me a year and five months then I will graduate, I'm taking photography, for the obvious reasons. Ever since I came across a photo of him, it's safe to say that I became curious of how a single shot could capture a lot, not just a perfect face, but emotions as well, and I have to be honest, I dream of taking a photo of him, a perfect shot that only I can take. That will only be possible if their company would hire me, and for a young girl like me, who is barely experienced I need to prove a lot, but I have the drive and the will power, and the heart.

I will make it possible, anything for my heart to find its peace. Anything just so he would know, just so he would be aware, of the feelings that that single piece of photo conveyed on me. Lee Hyukjae, is it possible that you can feel me right now? Is it possible for your heart to feel that somewhere, not so far away there is this young girl who's heart is beating frantically just by the thought that someone as gorgeous as you exist. Is it possible for you to feel how my heart begs for you to wait for the time that I can meet you?

I wish the wind could send all my whispers of admiration for you, because that is all I can do for now, but definitely time will come, that I could confirm that this is definitely love that I feel. Not because you have such a beautiful face, not because you are popular, but because of the emotions I felt the first time I lay my eyes on you. So until the day that I could finally meet you, please, wait for me. I could only hope, I could only dream, I don't even know what he's like personally, is he as good as his face, or is he a bad person just like any other celebrities?

I would never know till I find out, my heart could never rest till I find out. I would never be sure of what made me fall, but I trust my heart in everything that I do, and for the first time in so many years I never felt alone, all because of a single photo of you. If a single photo of you could give color to my dull days, then what more is your presence? I'm scared of finding out, I'm scared of being disappointed, I'm scared of the risk and the sacrifice, but I am even more scared of the questions hanging on my head. So till then my love, wait for me.


End file.
